All of My Friends are Going to College… What About Me?
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The time has come, the season of acceptance. Not acceptance from a clique at school or acceptance of personal imperfections, I’m talking about college. Beginning in the fall of 2015, high school seniors around the globe subjected themselves to the cut-throat competition known as college admission process. Students have worked meticulously, crafting essays, assembling portfolios, and going through immense amounts of pressure in the name of education. Many sleepless nights have we students endured, all for that fateful day, the day that the college of our dreams is scheduled to send out decision letters. Everything around me didn’t matter, I was only looking forward to getting out of school to check my email or see the mail that’s been waiting for me at home. I finally got my decision and BOOM… deferred to regular admission. So, where do I go from here?
First and foremost, I have to congratulate my fellow students who, unlike me, can enjoy the benefits of college acceptance. They can start dorm shopping, assembling their schedules, and choosing a meal plan while I must wait. I’ve been thinking about how I wanted to decorate my dorm for years but, even now, my preparations have been put on hold. I sometimes wish I could avoid social media but alas, in the age of technology, I choose not to. It seems like everyone is getting and accepted and everyone wants to talk about it. “OMG I’m so surprised, I got my 178392026th college acceptance!” Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for anyone and everyone who gets into college. Having gone through the process and knowing what it demands, how can I not be happy for someone else? Nevertheless, after the hundredth “congratulations,” it definitely becomes repetitive.
I also became accustomed to answering questions that completely kill my mood. There’s no avoiding the awkward moment when someone asks, “have you heard back from colleges?” and I have to answer, “no.” I’ve assured myself that not getting into college at the same time as everyone else is fine. I just have to wait, what’s the problem? It’s quite simple, but every time I think I’m stable, something ruins it. I could walk into school, head held high, with college being the last thing on my mind and suddenly my confidence is completely obliterated.
Granted, getting rejected from or wait-listed for college is not the end of the world. My mother has been constantly telling me throughout this waiting period that I cannot control the outcome of the situation. She tells me to stop worrying, that stress will simply elongate the process. It’s difficult to listen to her advice but I’ve come to realize how right she is. There’s nothing more I can do at this point but wait; stressing won’t change the decision that the college makes. Some days it doesn’t bother me, some days I dwell on it, and some days it’s completely forgotten. In the end, I’m going to continue to congratulate the new members of the college class of 2020, be happy for my friends, and wait for my fateful day in February. Pray for me everyone.